Dear Younger me,
Unfortunately, (or fortunately), no one else is going to ‘save you’. You must save yourself. The books you will read will tell you how someone will swoop in and save you. However, you’re no damsel in distress. You’ve got this. Understand that you do not need anyone else in this process. It is helpful to have friends to give you a hand along the way, but you must do this alone. It will be hard trying to find yourself (trust me, I still am looking now), but we will get there eventually. For now, stop looking for people who are going to ‘save you’ and instead look for people who will help you grow.
If someone does not make an effort with you, then don’t make an effort with them. (It may not seem this simple but bare with me) You’re going to meet people that will one day be your best friend and then the next won’t bother at all. If they constantly flicking between wanting you and not wanting you, then they’re not worth your time. One of your biggest insecurities is being wanted, my love, and I know it’s hard to know who does. If someone is not making an effort with you, it does not always mean they don’t want you. Remember, people are busy and do not always have time to talk to you. However, if them ignoring you is a constant thing. Take a step back, breathe and evaluate whether their friendship is worth the stress they are causing you. If not, ‘tell them boy bye’, and if they are, speak to them about what you’re feeling… They may not see they’re hurting you.
You were beautiful way before any boy told you that. You will still be beautiful for a long time after he’s gone too. Your worth isn’t dependent on whether a guys think you have a nice face. Do not crave to be pretty. You must live to be more than this. You were made to be someone who will change the world, and that does not depend on your looks. Don’t let anyone belittle you into only being ‘pretty’.
Girls can be bitchy. They can tear self-esteem to shreds and make you feel pretty rubbish. I promise you, you don’t need these people. When a bitchy occurrence happens, move on and do not stress over it. There’s not a lot we can do. Also, parents can spot those fake friends way before we can! Mum and dad are going to point out the bad friends, and you’re going to argue with them. Sadly, they were probably right on most of them. That’s okay though. Still be their friends, and know that when they leave or you fall out, mum and dad will still be there having our backs.
Let go of people. I know this is something that’s hard for you. We’re not that type of person that ever gives up someone and it can be a flaw of ours. Sometimes we will get very mad and ignore people for periods of time, but we struggle to truly abandon people. We don’t like to leave them. Which is why we can become so truly upset when people leave us. Learn to stop taking people back because we feel like we have to. If someone has upset us and hurt us, let them go baby girl, we don’t need them. People can be so so so cruel, and they may not even realise they’re being it. After the first few times of telling them they’ve upset you, move on. Don’t let them keep upsetting you.
Overthinking is killing you, it still is as I write this. I don’t know why we stress about something we said three weeks ago, but we do. Learn to control the overthinking inside of us. Overthinking is so unhelpful to our mental welfare and all it does is kill chances of happiness. We need to tell ourselves to stop worrying and not get ourselves so worked up. Keep yourself occupied and your mind off things that don’t help you. Be a warrior and not a worrier!!
You can have a bad day, but I promise you that we won’t have a bad life. There are days when you’ll feel absolutely rubbish. You will cry and wonder what to do. This doesn’t mean that our life’s awful, it’s really not. Breathe and calm down. Sleep and let yourself heal. Wake up the next morning and reflect on whatever was upsetting you. It is okay to have bad days, weeks and months, but know everything will be okay in the end… We’re doing okay now.
Don’t you dare compare yourself to others. You got a C on your test and your friend got an A. So what? Why compare yourself with someone over something that doesn’t matter. The only person you should try to ‘beat’, is the person you were yesterday. Head down my darling, keep revising and working harder to better yourself, not to beat someone else. No one in the world can do a better job at being us than we can!!
Learn to forgive those around you, but also learn that not everyone deserves to have trust in them again. Forgiveness is needed in life and it helps you to grow. However, not everyone deserves to have your trust after you’ve forgiven them. If they’ve hurt you a significant amount, then they do not deserve you trust.
Stop with the act. Just be yourself. Creating a fake person of yourself to impress others isn’t going to make you happy.
Thank you for reading!
All the love,
Queen Clo xx