World Kindness Day

Lifestyle, Mental Health

I have had this post about kindness in my drafts for a little while now and was unsure when best to post it, and at dinner being told today was ‘World Kindness Day’, it seemed like the perfect day. Enjoy.

I want to live a life that is beautiful.
A life that is worth people reading about, something that shows how successful I can be, and how I have accomplished many tasks. When thinking about if I was to write a story on my life the bits I’d include are the exciting and successful things. But thinking about the small acts of kindness I do on a regular basis, I question how much of a book they’d fill. I think kindness is beautiful and is worth reading about, even more than the greatest successes. Make kindness your plot of the story, the one thing that keeps you going when nothing else you do is going right. Make your whole life story be all about kindness, devout your life to it.

Kindness blog xIt may seem extreme to devout your life to kindness, and you may think ‘well people have not always been kind to me, so why should I be kind to them’, but that’s the key to kindness, it’s something you do that makes you feel good too. The stance of they’re not kind so I won’t be kind leads to a negative situation for you and leads to negativity creeping into your mind. I urge you to continue to be kind even when others are not to you, spread kindness around like it is Nutella on toast.  When you get up instead of focusing solely on your aspirations, you should focus more on how you can do them kindly and how you can have an attitude of pure kindness. When someone hurts you in any way, instead of finding ways to get back at them, refocus your brain and teach it to show kindness. It is more important to spread love and kindness than being mean to someone to hurt them too. Being mean may feel like a win at the time but in the long run, it’s not good, it doesn’t show you off in the light you wish to be shown in. Not only will you feel good about your actions if you show them kindness, you will maximise the amount of love you can achieve from the nasty situation.

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While I think it is important and beneficial to be kind to others, it is crucial to also be kind to yourself. I was once told ‘If you were speaking and treating your friends as you treat yourself would they still think you were kind?’, it made me see that I was always trying to be kind to others but was neglecting myself. In between being a kind person to others and running errands, are you treating yourself with the same amount of care? If not today is the day you start being kinder to yourself more too.

 

We live in a time where the world is so cruel, and it’s the small acts that people do on a regular basis that keeps the world going around. So today, at the end of world kindness day I ask you to do one kind act for someone else and one act of kindness for yourself. Life is too short to be a mean and uncaring person.

 

All the love,

Queen Clo xx

 

A Letter To My Future Daughter…

Lifestyle

Hello friends!!! Sorry for not posting in three months, oppss… Exams were rubbish but at least they’re over. After writing a letter style in an old blog post, I decided to do another one. I found it really enjoyable to write, I hope you enjoy reading it. A lot of family around me have just had children (by the way, they are soo fricken cute!!!!) and it’s exciting to think that one day (at least 10 years away haha) that I will have mini me’s around too!

Dear Future Daughter,

I want you to never ever beg ANYONE for love. You are worth all the love in the world. If no man or woman loves you at a certain time, remember I love you and I always will. There’s so much more to life than seeking the love of a significant other, you are whole and amazing on your own. Most importantly, I want you to love yourself. It can be so difficult but you will get there. If you love you and I love you, then it does not matter if no one else does.

Stand up for what you believe in. When everyone else sits by and allows things they don’t agree with to carry on, I hope you stand strong. I hope you put them right. One thing I am passionate about is educating others and helping others to see my points of view. I want you to educate me on what you care about but be prepared to hear other peoples views. Just because they are not the same as yours does not mean they are wrong. But, if you feel someone is being unjust call them out and even call me on things I say. I promise I will always support you and I cannot wait to one day learn from you.

Body image is hard, and I know you will face body issues like I have. It has taken me so many years to learn that my body is mine. I struggled with what to wear and how others looked at it. My body has stretch marks and is fat, but I will continue to dress how I please. I promise you are perfect and are a masterpiece. Your worth cannot be determined by your looks or weight, so continue to be nice. Your weight and your looks are merely nothing if you have a nice personality. It seems rubbish but I promise it is truly what is inside that counts. No one whats a beautiful person with a nasty mind…

Your mental health always comes before school. If you are struggling, talk to me. We can work together on strengthening you. If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but please talk to someone. There is no need to battle your demons alone, there will be someone that can help you.

People suck! They will break your heart into a million little pieces and pretend they’re not the one to blame. They will leave with a flimsy excuse and I know you will blame yourself but it is not you, baby girl, it will never have been you. They will be a coward and you just have to be strong. Do not let them question who you are. You have the ability to love and your love was never too much. They just were not capable enough to have all of you. While you struggle with a heartbreak you will learn so much about yourself, much more than you ever do when you’re at a high. I want you to cry about this person, I want you to cry until there are no tears left. As you stop crying learn from whats happened and begin to grow again. Your heart will heal itself and eventually, you’ll meet someone who is perfect for you.

Sometimes it is okay to disregard the opinions of others if they are not positive in helping you grow. This world is full of people that feel the need to judge the actions of others. You do not know what is happening with others so try to judge as little as possible love. The ones who truly love you will not stir up trouble in your life. Learn the difference between those who are trying to help you and those who are just trying to cause drama in your life. You do not need people who want to cause inconvenience in your life.

One comment I always have hated is how I am un-lady like. What the hell is a lady supposed to be like? If I or anyone else makes that comment ignore them… You are a lady and that does not define the actions you should take.

It takes less than 5 minutes to message someone to check if they’re ok. Text that person you’ve not spoken to in weeks but know is having a rubbish time. Your support could be important to them and if it isn’t, what loss was 5 minutes of your time for texting them…

Work your little butt off but remember to party harder. Whatever you want to do or be in life I will support you but you need to work for it. You get nowhere in life for free, you need to work for it all.

My most memorable moments have come from volunteering. Time is valuable and you don’t want to waste it, but volunteering is never a waste. Always help others where you can. I love working with the children I work with. I have learnt and grew from the children and adults I volunteer with. The skills you learn from volunteering are skills I could not have got from anywhere else.

Don’t do something because everyone else is doing it. It does not make you cool.

What ever happens in your life I will love you and always be there for you!

Love,

Your future loving mum xo

 

Hopefully, I will be back to posting monthly as I have many drafts, but they all need editing so we will see! Hope you enjoyed this post. If you want to know what I am up to when I haven’t posted in a while please check my Instagram Queen.Clo !

All the love,

Queen Clo xo

 

You should be loving someone…

dating, Lifestyle

I am a sucker for love. I love love. I love reading about love, watching films or shows about love and I love falling in love. You can fall in love with anyone and anything!!!  

I love my dogs, so felt they deserved to be shown on my blog haha!


The most important person you should love is yourself, but this can sometimes be the most difficult person to love… When you fall for others, how much do you actually know about them? When I fall for the cute person I walk past, I know very little. When I fall for someone I may have been speaking to probably a little more. However, we may think we know lots about the people around us, but we don’t know what is actually going on in their head and what they truly look like. Just like they don’t truly know all about us either. With yourself it’s different. You know every lump and bump, scar and scratch, and ‘flaw’ that your body has. You know what goes on inside your head, and sometimes you may not like it. These thoughts can lead us to wonder how anyone can love us, and we make ourselves feel hard to love. There are nights that I will sit and think ‘jeez, I am a mess’, and it leads me to doubt how to love myself. Though I remind myself that I may have these imperfections, but that doesn’t make me any less deserving of love. I was always told that it is ‘what is on the inside that counts’, which on some days seems untrue, although luckily for us all it is. Looks will come and fade, it’s how your brain works that will always stay loveable. On days you doubt whether you are worth love, I promise you are. When feeling self-hate focus on your many positive qualities. Leave your harsh criticisms of yourself behind and instead look at your strengths and the amazing traits that make you, you. Side note, even if you don’t love yourself, you are still worthy of the love of others.

You cannot force someone to love you and you should not feel the need to beg someone to love you. Love is either there, or it isn’t. If someone doesn’t love you, it does not mean you should stop loving them. Just like you can’t force them to love you, you can’t force yourself to stop. They still deserve your love, even if they do not feel the same. This world is so full of hate, that I think it’s crucial we all spread a little love from time to time. There are different types of love, and we are all worthy of all of them. I have a different love for my family than I do for my friends, and I’ll have a different love with my friends than I’ll have to my future partner. It’s important to remember there are lots of opportunities to feel love. You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel love. I think this can be a common misconception amongst my generation. It’s like people are desperate to be in relationships, in hopes they will feel love, but they are missing the love that is all around them. If you feel unloved, look around you carefully. People do not have to say I love you, for them to love you. They may say ‘text me when you’re home’, ‘I appreciate what you do for me’, ‘don’t forget your seatbelt’, ‘drive safely’, ‘get some sleep’ and if you listen hard enough there are many more. If you look there’s many around you that love you.

For anyone who knows me, will know that I am a full on person, and this does not stop when I love. Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. I think its important to not hold back when loving. It’s true that love can be hurtful, but I would rather know that I put all of my love into a situation and it not work out. Than regretting not putting all my love in. It can be so scary to love people and to in turn depend on them, but we need love and people to help us grow. Don’t shy away from love for the fear of being hurt, because doing this will make you shy away from finding happiness. You cannot help who you fall in love. Which means in some situations you will face the hell that is unrequited love!! Even if they don’t love you back in the way you wish, they may still love you in other ways! Remember, if someone you love is treating you rubbish you deserve better. Unrequited love will always suck, but you will get over it… I promise. Don’t let the fear of them not loving you back stop you from loving them! 


All the love,

Queen Clo xo

Cry Baby Acceptance, Please?

Lifestyle, Mental Health

Hello friends! March seemed to have flown by and I’m not ready to be a month closer to exams… (Boo!!!)

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” ~Charles Dickens

Anyone who knows me will know I’m the most tearful person to have ever walked the earth… I don’t even have to be sad to be crying. Anything and everything will make me spill tears. I like to think I’m the biggest crybaby… and yes, I am proud of this…


The above picture is when I heard One Direction’s new album, a year and a half ago, and it is safe to say I was very emotional… I was so happy that I couldn’t contain my tears. I think these tears were for the song ‘If I Could Fly’.

I HATE HATE HATE how people believe crying is a sign of weakness. I have many weaknesses, but my tears are not one of them. We seem to live in a society that is becoming more and more emotionless. We want to fit the mould of being happy and jolly humans, whose lives are perfect. However, this is not the case. We’re not happy all the time. It’s totally normal to be upset and to cry. It’s totally normal to need to cry every day too. We need to allow each other to cry and cleanse. We need to allow men to openly cry more too! Men have been taught for so long that if they cry, they lose their masculinity. Which is so wrong. We need to teach them that it’s okay to cry and it doesn’t make them any less of a man. Instead of laughing or mocking when they cry, we should simply offer support. Crying is not being weak, it’s being human.

Personally, I struggle explaining why I’m upset to people. I find it very difficult to articulate the right words to get across my emotions. Instead, I tend to bottle things up, which isn’t entirely healthy, but that’s just what happens. I know in my heart it is probably better to face the feelings head on, and so I have learnt to find my own way to cope. For me, crying is the way, it allows me to release the emotions I have stored up. The act of crying helps me to confront the issue I’m facing and eventually will help me move forward. It can help calm me down from the situation and make me feel at peace again. It’s like my own therapy.  Sometimes, all I need is a long cry from a situation and then I’m perfectly fine. If you feel the same, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Carrying around emotional baggage is not good for your emotional health, so really, if you want to improve your health and you don’t want to talk about it, crying can be the best way. If crying makes you feel better then do it. Cry as much as you need. Cry cry cry!

I believe that crying can be a way to show great strength. It takes a lot for people to be able to cry and show their vulnerability to others. One that Just because I cry at everything, doesn’t mean I’m not strong or fierce! My tears do not determine my strength. I’m a strong queen, who just likes to cry. Deal with it!

So I ask, please don’t make fun of me for being an ’emotional wreck’. Just accept that I am. I’m okay with being one, and if you’re not okay with me being one then I don’t need you. (Bye hater😉)

All the love,

Queen Clo xx

A Letter To My Younger Self

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Dear Younger me,

Unfortunately, (or fortunately), no one else is going to ‘save you’. You must save yourself. The books you will read will tell you how someone will swoop in and save you. However, you’re no damsel in distress. You’ve got this. Understand that you do not need anyone else in this process. It is helpful to have friends to give you a hand along the way, but you must do this alone. It will be hard trying to find yourself (trust me, I still am looking now), but we will get there eventually. For now, stop looking for people who are going to ‘save you’ and instead look for people who will help you grow.

If someone does not make an effort with you, then don’t make an effort with them. (It may not seem this simple but bare with me) You’re going to meet people that will one day be your best friend and then the next won’t bother at all. If they constantly flicking between wanting you and not wanting you, then they’re not worth your time. One of your biggest insecurities is being wanted, my love, and I know it’s hard to know who does. If someone is not making an effort with you, it does not always mean they don’t want you. Remember, people are busy and do not always have time to talk to you. However, if them ignoring you is a constant thing. Take a step back, breathe and evaluate whether their friendship is worth the stress they are causing you. If not, ‘tell them boy bye’, and if they are, speak to them about what you’re feeling… They may not see they’re hurting you.

You were beautiful way before any boy told you that. You will still be beautiful for a long time after he’s gone too. Your worth isn’t dependent on whether a guys think you have a nice face. Do not crave to be pretty. You must live to be more than this. You were made to be someone who will change the world, and that does not depend on your looks. Don’t let anyone belittle you into only being ‘pretty’.

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Girls can be bitchy. They can tear self-esteem to shreds and make you feel pretty rubbish. I promise you, you don’t need these people. When a bitchy occurrence happens, move on and do not stress over it. There’s not a lot we can do. Also, parents can spot those fake friends way before we can! Mum and dad are going to point out the bad friends, and you’re going to argue with them. Sadly, they were probably right on most of them. That’s okay though. Still be their friends, and know that when they leave or you fall out, mum and dad will still be there having our backs.

Let go of people. I know this is something that’s hard for you. We’re not that type of person that ever gives up someone and it can be a flaw of ours. Sometimes we will get very mad and ignore people for periods of time, but we struggle to truly abandon people. We don’t like to leave them. Which is why we can become so truly upset when people leave us. Learn to stop taking people back because we feel like we have to. If someone has upset us and hurt us, let them go baby girl, we don’t need them. People can be so so so cruel, and they may not even realise they’re being it. After the first few times of telling them they’ve upset you, move on. Don’t let them keep upsetting you.

Overthinking is killing you, it still is as I write this. I don’t know why we stress about something we said three weeks ago, but we do. Learn to control the overthinking inside of us. Overthinking is so unhelpful to our mental welfare and all it does is kill chances of happiness. We need to tell ourselves to stop worrying and not get ourselves so worked up. Keep yourself occupied and your mind off things that don’t help you. Be a warrior and not a worrier!!

You can have a bad day, but I promise you that we won’t have a bad life. There are days when you’ll feel absolutely rubbish. You will cry and wonder what to do. This doesn’t mean that our life’s awful, it’s really not. Breathe and calm down. Sleep and let yourself heal. Wake up the next morning and reflect on whatever was upsetting you. It is okay to have bad days, weeks and months, but know everything will be okay in the end… We’re doing okay now.

Don’t you dare compare yourself to others. You got a C on your test and your friend got an A. So what? Why compare yourself with someone over something that doesn’t matter. The only person you should try to ‘beat’, is the person you were yesterday. Head down my darling, keep revising and working harder to better yourself, not to beat someone else. No one in the world can do a better job at being us than we can!!

Learn to forgive those around you, but also learn that not everyone deserves to have trust in them again. Forgiveness is needed in life and it helps you to grow. However, not everyone deserves to have your trust after you’ve forgiven them. If they’ve hurt you a significant amount, then they do not deserve you trust.

Stop with the act. Just be yourself. Creating a fake person of yourself to impress others isn’t going to make you happy.

Thank you for reading!
All the love,

Queen Clo xx

I’m failing, but that’s okay!

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Firstly, I know I’m VERY late but happy new year!! I hope this year is filled with all the love and happiness you deserve.

Think like a queen… A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.

 

celebrate-failure

No matter what you are doing with your life; whether you’re young or old, whether you are a student or have a job, whether you live at home or live on your own, there is always going to be a time when you feel like you are failing. What’s positive to know, is just because you feel like this is the case, it may not be true, and if it is, being a ‘failure’ is not your final destination. However, when you are in this state, you must try to look at the positives. While it’s hard, you need to look at all the great things you do too, things that you’re succeeding in.. Don’t tell me you’re not succeeding at anything because there’s always at least one thing you succeed in every day. It may be something small like ‘you got up today and did something productive’ or ‘you only cried once today’. Look hard enough and you’ll find a success.

If you had spoken to me in August 2016, I would have told you how much of a failure I am. How my life is ruined and I’ll never be able to be successful. This is because I received a U in Physics, a subject I love and wanted to carry on with at university. I also got two C’s in my other two subjects, and an A in my Extended Project. However, all I could focus on was the U. The fail… I was worried that this was it, that I would not be able to move forward and I totally shut down. If you speak to my parents, they’ll tell you how I point blankly refused the idea of going to university after this. I truly believed that I was ‘too stupid’ and ‘too much of a failure’ to ever be able to go. After a meeting with school, it was decided that I could carry on with Physics, as long as I redid the AS level course alongside the A-level course. Although I was overjoyed that I would be able to still study the course I wanted to at Sixth Form, I was disheartened that university may not have been for me. With some research, my mum and I were able to find universities that would accept me with my predicted grades for Physics. I applied for Physics and got all 5 offers within two weeks (the first person to receive an offer in my year). Now, in January, 5 months on, I still have to work hard for Physics, and I am getting some successes. I think its about persevere and I know if I keep working I will get the grades I need. The learning curve I had from this experience was that you may fail the first time, but keep trying and you can begin to succeed. I could have easily decided, actually I don’t fancy Physics anymore, it’s too much work and I could have it much easier if I decided to study History at university instead. BUT… Physics  is a subject I love and I will keep working hard to get to where I want to be.

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With social media, people only post their great successes online. I have very rarely seen anyone post about their failings. This leads us to believe that everyone is happy and everyone is doing amazing things. While this may be the case for some, it is not for all. I rarely post on Facebook when things aren’t going right. I may tell my friends but I find it hard to tell everyone things are not going right. Its good to remember, that I’m not alone and others are feeling like this. Going back to results day, I was surrounded by people who had got the most incredible results, and while I was proud, it wasn’t pleasant to hear how amazing everyone else had done. It wasn’t till after the day when speaking to others that I realised I wasn’t the only one to have failed something. Please remember, ‘You’re not the only one who is feeling like a failure or who is failing.’

I’m not only failing at school, but at life… Friendship is difficult and can often lead me to feel like I’m failing my friends. I have friends that I love dearly, but I really struggle to fit the person they need me to be all the time. Sometimes I have to distance myself a little and breathe. To take a break from speaking to them. As said, I love my friends and I try my hardest to do all I can for my friends, but occasionally I can’t be there for them all. In situations like this I take a step back and focus on myself. It used to make me feel very guilty and that I was failing them. Now I understand this is not the case. Real friends would much prefer me to be okay and happy. They totally understand me needing to step back and wouldn’t think I’m failing them. I may fail sometimes at being a friend, but working on myself is not me failing my friends.

failure

Failing and making mistakes are totally normal. You can make as many mistakes and fail as much as you like, so long as you learn from them. I may be disappointed with a poor test score, but I realise now it’s a learning curve. If I can go back over the paper and see the mistakes, it’ll make sure I don’t make them in the real exam. Failing multiple times does not make you a failure, but instead means you have found 100s of ways that may not have worked. After failing, review why and learn from it. If you are failing for different reasons every time, you can learn and will eventually have a success. If you keep failing for the same reason, then that is an issue you need to address. Failing for the same reason regularly is frustrating and time wasting. Failing for different reasons is enabling you to do great.

Stop comparing your behind the scenes to everyone else’s on stage… I always feel like an incredible failure when I try to compare myself to other people. Why on earth do I compare myself to others is beyond me, because I know how upset it’ll make me… Yet I still do it. It’s usually over trivia things. For examples, a test score, how many friends someone has or the amount of likes on a post. It is truly silly. I am a good person. I shouldn’t have to compare myself to others to validate that I am.

Failing does not mean I’m ‘helpless’. After a failure, I know my confidence is incredibly low. It is during the time directly after the failure that I want to completely give up. However, giving up is the only real failure you can ever make. During this period, it is better to build yourself back up again slowly. As you restart on your journey begin to celebrate every success you make, whether big or small it will (hopefully) improve your confidence and allow you to succeed in your main goal.

I wish you all the successes in life, but remember failing isn’t so bad after all.

Failure happens, but I promise you aren’t a failure. You are a normal human being who is bound to mess up once in a while.

Have a wonderful day!

All the love,

Queen Clo xx

Losing Friends

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Welcome!

It’s December 2016, and I can truly say I’ve had a great year. However, this year hasn’t turned out quite how I imagined it. I started the year with friends, not masses amount, but not few either. I envisioned that the year would be full of incredible memories with them all, which has happened, but some not so nice memories have been made too. This post will not only be addressing losing friends, but friendship in general.

Should we crave popularity?

As a young teen, I believed that in order to feel amazing, I had to be popular. I honestly believed that if I was top of the social pack, I would be happy. But now, as an adult (still find saying this scary) I know this isn’t the case. Personally, I’ve been more happier with a small, tight group of friends than when I was younger and had many. So I refuse to crave to be popular like the magazines and tv shows force you to believe. I will be happy, whether I have no friends or whether I have a group of friends.

What to do when friends hurt you?

This year, people I believed I would know for the rest of my life have hurt me in ways I didn’t think they would. It’s not one person either, but a few different people from different situations. Originally, I was heartbroken. I was so upset that I people I loved dearly were treating me like crap. As the years gone by I’ve started to deal with them hurting me better. Instead of moping about this and wondering what I’ve done wrong, I’ve decided to keep living. To keep moving forward. I could relive every memory I’ve had with these people and look at every bad thing that occurred between s, but it’s not going to change the situation. I could ignore what they’ve done and keep being friends with them, but in the end I’ll be hurting myself.

There is a need to talk to people when they have hurt you. Although, after the first few times you’ve discussed about them hurting you, if they carry on hurting you what’s the point. I know in my heart that it’s much better to get rid of friends that hurt you, than keep trying to be friends with then.

I am losing friends, but that’s fine by me.

I believe if you’re not losing friends, you’re not growing up. The people you’ve known for a long time are going to change and you’re going to change too. Therefore, you’re not always going to be friends with them. Don’t get me wrong, I do have some friends that I’ve known since I was tiny and I hopefully will know them till I’m old too. But, I think it’s important to remember not everyone will stay till we’re old. It’s okay to lose friends, you’re not a bad person for losing them. You are still good at being a friend, even if people are leaving.

Toxic Friendships

I’ve had many friendships over my short 18 years, however a few friendships have not been the healthiest.

So I went on to urban dictionary, the source of all the knowledge in today’s times, and got the definition of a toxic friendship:

A friend that embarrasses you in social situations in order to gain attention; a person that constantly betrays your trust, but you cant get away from due to guilt issues; a type of friend that is ok one on one, but will turn on you as soon as other people are around, making it hard to break off the friendship because you ‘know how they really are’.

I’ve never known how to cope with people who come into my life and are what I believe are toxic. It baffles me how people can be totally okay to you on your own, but in social situations bully you to no end. You should be able to feel comfortable around your friends and be free to say whatever you need to. If you feel anxious and upset around them, is it time to let them go? Letting go of toxic friends will make room for more healthy friendships. I think it is incredibly difficult to let toxic friends go, because there must be something you like about them to have them as a friend. In these situations it’s about weighing up the positives and negatives of having these types of friends…

Friends are allowed to argue.

This topic is important to me. People are so scared to argue with the ones they love, but I promise there is nothing wrong with arguing. As long as after the argument you talk it out and find the cause of the argument, it’s okay. Arguments are a perfectlly normal thing. I tend to argue with people I care about most, more than I do with anyone else. However, it is unhealthy to argue and then pretend nothing’s happened. You’ll still hold the grudge with whatever you’ve argued about, and can cause more damage further along in the friendship. It is vital that you talk and sort out the argument cause as soon as you’ve both calmed down!

Acquaintances VS Friendship

I once called a girl an acquaintance instead of a friend. The horrified look on the girls face is something I wont forget. If you do not speak to me on a regular basis, and we do not hang out with each other, we are not friends. I do not mean to offend anyone when I say this but its true. I’m a polite person. If everyone I said hello to, or had small talk with is my friend I would be balling in friends… However, I personally believe that my friends are the people who love and care for me regularly. Not someone who says hi to me once in a blue moon. So if you’re that offended about being called an acquaintance, put more effort in and maybe we can become friends…

Friendship is a two way thing, if its only you putting the effort in all the time, is it really worth it?

Effort is something I struggle with frequently. I regularly argue with myself as to whether I’m putting too much effort in, or they’re not putting enough effort in. I get so worried when people start to drop the amount of effort in. If you don’t want to be friends anymore, tell the person. Don’t drop the effort and hope they get the point.

Long lasting friendships take a lot of effort. If you want a strong, worth while friendship you have to put the groundwork in. You physically cannot keep a friendship with someone who cannot text back or speak to you.

It’s also crucial to remember that you cannot nurture every friendship. Pick the key friendships and stick with them. If you try to be a friend to everyone, when will you have time to be a friend to yourself? You will cut friendships that no longer serve you purpose, and people will cut their friendships with you. Don’t take it as being offensive, but just remember that they cant be everyone’s friends either.

Social Media may be leaving us confused about who are real friends are…

My Instagram has over 14,000 followers, but in reality (maybe) 150 of them I know in real life. Then take 75 family members away and I’m left with 75 people I know. But only a few of those 75 are who I ACTUALLY consider my friends.

I love my social media because I am so nosey. I hold no shame in admitting this. Theres nothing I enjoy more than having a good nose online when I’ve got free time.

Just because someone is liking your Instagram or Facebook posts, doesn’t mean you guys are actually friends. I scroll through and double tap many strangers photos, does not mean I am actually friends with them. The opposite is also correct, just because someone does not like your social media posts does not mean they are not your friend. People show their friendships to us in different ways and we should be less worried about how they show their friendship to us on the internet. If they are there for you when you need them in person and you can count on them, does it really matter if they aren’t liking your selfies?

Under the category of social media, I want to add that as humans we tend to only share the good things that are happening in our lives. Its important to remember not to become jealous of what we see people we know post, as you are only seeing a snapshot of their day. Just because our friends are posting how amazing things are, it does not mean this is actually the case. Just because you’ve seen someone post how great life is, don’t forget to message them occasionally to ask them how they’re doing. They could be hiding their pain…

So please, for your sake, do not let yourself become disillusioned by social media.

(LOL, BUT SERIOUSLY GET AT MY INSTA QUEEN.CLO AND GO LIKE ALL MY FIRE SELFIES XO)

The saddest part of losing friends…

I think the saddest part of losing friends is losing someone to go and talk to about your life. Someone that once knew everything about you, will now no longer be there to know more. The few people you could trust are no longer trustworthy.

And all you get left with is memories and meaningless information about them, things that will keep in your mind for a long time to come.

It’s good to know that you do still have other friends, and you’ll find new friends to tell new stories to. You’ll make new memories and you’ll get new information with new people. Keep living and leave the bad friends.

Good friendssssss

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Some of my loves!!

I just want to say a massive thank you to those friends that have stuck by me and always look after me (even those of you who are not above). I can’t wait to make more amazing memories with you all in 2017!! Woooo xx

Lastly, a quote I found on Tumblr that I believe in:

“It took me too long to realise that you shouldn’t stay friends with people who never ask how you’re doing”

Have a fantastic Christmas!!

All the love,

Queen Clo x

18 Things I’ve Learnt Over The Past 18 Years

Lifestyle

Recently, I reached the age of 18! Scary! During my 18 years on this planet, I’ve learnt so many lessons; below are some of the most important ones. Along with a picture of me over the last 18 years😂

Why don’t you leave something important you’ve learnt in the comments? Or any feedback?☺️

Always been a daddy’s girl x

1. No matter what happens in life, someone in your family will still love you.

I am extremely fortunate to have a large family. There’s so much love around me and I’m so lucky for it. I know that whatever I do, they will all still support and love me. They’ve helped me grow into the person I am and if I do a bad thing I can gurantee they’re not going to hold it against me. This means that whenever there is drama, because we’re a family, we deal with it together. Therefore, if I have a personal problem or drama, I know I can rely on them to help me deal with it. So, whether you have a small family or a large family, they are always going to love and forgive you in the end. Send a text to a family member tonight to show you that you appreciate them!💗

(Big shout out to all my family, I love you all so much, even those of you I don’t see as much as I’d like!)


2. It’s okay to cry. There seems to be this stigma with crying (especially with men, boo!) that it apparently shows weakness. This is not the case. Cry as often as you need. Cry everyday if it makes your day a bit easier. I personally cry very frequently, and if you ask my dad I cry over ridiculous things, like burning cheese on toast, I know, what a loser. However, I believe you should not worry about what others think of your tears, if it helps you to cleanse yourself and your mind then it’s okay. Lets all become cry babies and keep on crying!


3. Its okay to make mistakes… In fact, make as many mistakes as you possibly can. Mistakes are not a bad thing if you learn and grow from them. I frequently mess up, I know I will make many mistakes every single day. This does not make me feel bad or scare me; I know I am learning from them. Instead of letting the fear of being wrong and making mistakes hold you back, embrace every chance of making a mistake.


4. Embrace change, it can be good. Personally, I always struggle with change. I like things to be the same. I get comfortable with a routine. The fear of change used to be a massive thing for me and whenever I knew change was going to occur, I would become nervous and panic. However, I began to understand that life always has change. Therefore, do not go in life being scared of it, but accept it when it happens.Whether this is something small like changing cereal, or whether it be leaving something behind that is hurting you. Whatever the change is, it may hurt or upset you at first, but in the long run it will help you to grow.


5. Tell other people what you are thinking and how you are feeling. People cannot read your mind. If someone has upset you or done you wrong, don’t just assume they know they’ve done wrong. Instead talk to them about it. Someone cannot change what they are doing if they do not know they’ve affected you. I am rubbish at telling people when they’ve upset me, and it can lead people to walk all over me! I need to start standing up for myself and to let others know about how I think and feel. Whether you think it is insignificant, if someone has upset you talk to them!! Not only could it improve the situation between you and said person, it will free your mind. Keeping things bottled up does nothing for you. So, learn to have strong communication skills and be able to talk to anyone about your problems, these skills will get you anywhere you need. 

6. Have a strong opinion of yourself, and leave behind the worries of what others think of you. 

I used to be very  worried about how others saw me. I craved to be liked by everyone, and whenever someone thought something negative of me I would be upset. I realise now, not everybody is going to like me. That does not mean there is anything wrong with me. If someone does not like me, it shouldn’t bother me. I’m not everyone’s fan, so clearly not everyone’s going to be a fan of me. I have begun to developed a strong opinion; this is who I am and I like who I am. So, it doesn’t really matter if no one else likes me.

7. Learn to say no! I’m a yes person, I always have been and I thought I always would be. I get so nervous of the thought of letting people down that I say yes. Lately, I’ve been learning it’s okay to say no. As much as I’d like to do every good deed and help as many people, I simply do not have the time. So instead of trying (and failing) to be wonder women, I learnt to use the word no. It’s much less of a let down to originally say no, than to do a half hearted job. No one is going to hate you for not doing something, and if they do, you don’t need them in your life. Simple?  

8. Move away from anything that causes you negativity.

Whether this be people, an activity or anything, if it makes you sad what is the point in doing it?!?! It truly baffles me when someone says ‘I do … to please … but I hate it’. What is the point in putting yourself through the stress and upset to please someone else. You must focus on your own happiness and not everyone else’s. Furthermore,  leave people that cause you pain in some way. It is far better to leave them in your past than continue to be friends with them and hurt yourself.

9. Frequently ask questions, it’ll help you grow and learn. 

Got a question? Ask it. Its literally that simple. Asking questions develops your knowledge and understanding of the world. By doing so you are not pondering over something that someone could answer for you if you just ask them. Stop accepting what you read online and begin questioning them. Enable yourself to become more involved in the world around you!

10. Be kind. Not only to others, but yourself too. 

I would much rather spread kindness to other people, than hate. I think in a world so filled with hate, it’s time that we start being nicer to those who are around us. Whether its just giving a stranger a smile, or asking someone how their day is? Kindness will help the world stay a positive place.

I looked back and realised that I’m nice to everyone else, but why am I not to myself? Ask yourself the question, if someone spoke to me the way I speak to myself would I still be friends with them? If the answers no, then its time you start speaking kinder to yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the person that’s there for yourself and if you’re not being kind to yourself then why will anyone else be?

11. Laugh often.Laughter is my favourite thing. I have the loudest laugh ever, and it can be irritating to others. (sorry not sorry). However, my laughter brings me joy. Laughing (even over tiny things) will brighten my whole mood. I aim to laugh as many times a day. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

12. Apologise when you’re in the wrong.

I have dealt with a lot of people who struggle with apologising. I  have also met a lot of people who apologise too much!! The trick is to get the right balance. I think it is important to apologise. If I have done something wrong, then I feel obliged to apologise. If it was the other way round then I would probably like the other person to apologise. Its important to swallow any pride you have and apologise when it is appropriate.

13. Some days you’ll find it slightly harder to love yourself, but look past your ‘flaws’, and find something to love.

The title says it all in this one. We’re all great in our own ways, look a little harder if you cannot find something to love. I PROMISE THERE WILL BE SOMETHING!!!!


14. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

I am feisty when I want to be. If I believe in something strongly, I’ll argue with anyone and everyone about it. Even if I’m the only one that believes my view. I’m not intimidated when others have a different view to myself. I think of it as a mini challenge to show others why I think that way.

It’s important to be you, and if you believe in your view that’s all that matters. Stand strong.
It’s also important to stand up for yourself. You can’t go your whole life being walked over like a door mat. Be confident and proud of who you are. Don’t let anyone knock you down.

 


15. Don’t take life or your self too serious. 

Its easy to get caught up in your own problems, and we forget that the problems we face are only made large when we let them mess with us. Instead of being caught up in how rubbish things are, we should all take a step back. When taking a step back it puts into perceptive that we should not take life too seriously. When taking life too seriously you limit the happiness you can get. So breathe, you are doing great, but stop taking everything too seriously.

Nobody gets out alive anyway…


16. FLIRT ! FLIRT! FLIRT!

I am a young, single, sassy women and I shall flirt and do as I please.

While I am young, I want to live my life. There is nothing wrong with flirting.


17. People will break your heart, but learn from the mistakes!

After a heartbreak it can be hard to pick yourself back up again. But the key thing to remember is onces someone’s broke your heart let them go. Or you will continue to hurt yourself the longer you cling to the past. Stop texting them, or trying to be in their life. Delete the texts. Delete the pictures. Delete them off social media. You do not need a constant reminder of them, leave them to do them and you to do you. If they’ve hurt you, they no longer deserve a place in your life. If they wanted to be in your life they would be, so don’t be fooled.

Oh boys, what strange creatures you are… Will I ever understand your brains? (probs not but I will live haha).


18. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re doing better than you think!

 In life, we focus on our own flaws and where we think we’ve not done well. We forgot to focus on all the great things we do every single day. All the amazing things we do without thinking. I’ve learnt that I need to be easier on myself and not beat myself up over silly little errors. I’m doing so well juggling a job, voluntary work and sixth form. I should just keep being me.

BONUS ONE: Get drunk and be the party animal you’ve always dreamed to be.

Don’t let anyone stop you from getting a little drunk!😉 If you need that glass of wine this evening, this is me saying go and have it! Also, partying with the right people at the right place can be so much fun and you can make memories (some you may not remember). Live your life and don’t let others judge you for partying. Keep being awesome!x


 

Thank you for reading my second upload!

All the love,

Queen Clo xx

 

I Won’t Be Shamed For Being Fat…

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When I was 14 years old I used to love shopping… The pure excitement of going into town and knowing I could buy what I wanted. (With the bank of mum and dad, thanks parents. I love you). Now at the age of 18 the excitement has been replaced with dread. As I’ve gotten older my body shape has changed massively in different ways. I am now taller, larger and broader than I was 4 years ago. This leads me to a small selection of clothes that actually fit me.

The left is me aged 14. The right is me recently.

I refuse to enter stores that I know do not stock a reasonable size range. Which unfortunately is most stores. I refuse to go into a store and feel ashamed of who I am. I am comfortable at the size I am. An example of a store with ridiculous sizing is Topshop. Topshop sizes stop at a size 16? 16?!!!! What a silly size to stop at. I can vary from a size 16 to 18, but I can never fit into a Topshop 16… Its almost like they don’t want larger people to be seen in their clothes… Lately, I have found it so much easier and less stressful to shop online. Stores like ASOS and Simply Be have amazing ‘plus size’ ranges. So, for now I will be throwing all my money at them… YAY!

In the recent picture above, people may be thinking ‘this girl is crazy, she is so not fat’. I am fat, that’s okay. I’ll accept I’m fat. We seem to hide away from using the word fat, like its the worst thing that I could be called. I can tell you now, I’d rather be called fat than a bitch. Fat is not a bad word, it is a way someone can look. We have made it a negative word by adding negative connotations with it, and making hurtful comments to those we consider ‘fat’.


At the time of this photo being taken I was in Disney Florida. For so long I was looking at this image and just thinking about how fat I looked. However, while doing this I blinded myself from how lovely this photo is. I’m a mad Disney fan, and I was super excited about meeting Disney princesses. The excitement is clear in my face. I realise now, that these pictures are beautiful. My size does not affect the beauty of this photo.

You can pick up any teen or women magazines in your local supermarket, and they will all tell you about the latest celebrities that have lost weight, or who have put on weight. But why? Why does anyone actually care enough about the size of anyone else? Does it make the celebrity any worse at their job? Of course not… So why should it matter? The person may be amazingly talented in their field of work, but instead of discussing their achievements we scrutinise them for the shape of their body… We should be bringing men and women up, and celebrating their achievements, not bringing them down for the way they look. Another thing in magazines that annoys me is the ‘amazing’ diet plans. Whether I go on a diet or not, I am still a good person and worthy of love. So why waste my time in slimming down and stressing about how many calories I am consuming. I will eat healthy, but I will also treat myself to junk food. I will not be pressured into doing a diet plan. I will love myself whatever size I am, so sorry, I will not be taking one of the amazing diets soon!

We, the public, have began embracing that everyone comes in different shapes and sizes. Isn’t it time that the fashion industry does the same too? It has taken me a long time to be comfortable in my own skin. I realised I could waste my whole life away wishing I was slimmer, and a size down. But at the end of the day, I’ll be loved whether I’m a size 6 or a size 26. If people won’t be friends with me because I’m fat, then that is their loss and not mine. So I won’t feel ashamed for who I am. I’m happy being fat. The beauty and fashion industry won’t stop me from loving myself.

All the love,

Queen Clo xx