A Letter To My Future Daughter…

Lifestyle

Hello friends!!! Sorry for not posting in three months, oppss… Exams were rubbish but at least they’re over. After writing a letter style in an old blog post, I decided to do another one. I found it really enjoyable to write, I hope you enjoy reading it. A lot of family around me have just had children (by the way, they are soo fricken cute!!!!) and it’s exciting to think that one day (at least 10 years away haha) that I will have mini me’s around too!

Dear Future Daughter,

I want you to never ever beg ANYONE for love. You are worth all the love in the world. If no man or woman loves you at a certain time, remember I love you and I always will. There’s so much more to life than seeking the love of a significant other, you are whole and amazing on your own. Most importantly, I want you to love yourself. It can be so difficult but you will get there. If you love you and I love you, then it does not matter if no one else does.

Stand up for what you believe in. When everyone else sits by and allows things they don’t agree with to carry on, I hope you stand strong. I hope you put them right. One thing I am passionate about is educating others and helping others to see my points of view. I want you to educate me on what you care about but be prepared to hear other peoples views. Just because they are not the same as yours does not mean they are wrong. But, if you feel someone is being unjust call them out and even call me on things I say. I promise I will always support you and I cannot wait to one day learn from you.

Body image is hard, and I know you will face body issues like I have. It has taken me so many years to learn that my body is mine. I struggled with what to wear and how others looked at it. My body has stretch marks and is fat, but I will continue to dress how I please. I promise you are perfect and are a masterpiece. Your worth cannot be determined by your looks or weight, so continue to be nice. Your weight and your looks are merely nothing if you have a nice personality. It seems rubbish but I promise it is truly what is inside that counts. No one whats a beautiful person with a nasty mind…

Your mental health always comes before school. If you are struggling, talk to me. We can work together on strengthening you. If you don’t want to talk to me, I get it, but please talk to someone. There is no need to battle your demons alone, there will be someone that can help you.

People suck! They will break your heart into a million little pieces and pretend they’re not the one to blame. They will leave with a flimsy excuse and I know you will blame yourself but it is not you, baby girl, it will never have been you. They will be a coward and you just have to be strong. Do not let them question who you are. You have the ability to love and your love was never too much. They just were not capable enough to have all of you. While you struggle with a heartbreak you will learn so much about yourself, much more than you ever do when you’re at a high. I want you to cry about this person, I want you to cry until there are no tears left. As you stop crying learn from whats happened and begin to grow again. Your heart will heal itself and eventually, you’ll meet someone who is perfect for you.

Sometimes it is okay to disregard the opinions of others if they are not positive in helping you grow. This world is full of people that feel the need to judge the actions of others. You do not know what is happening with others so try to judge as little as possible love. The ones who truly love you will not stir up trouble in your life. Learn the difference between those who are trying to help you and those who are just trying to cause drama in your life. You do not need people who want to cause inconvenience in your life.

One comment I always have hated is how I am un-lady like. What the hell is a lady supposed to be like? If I or anyone else makes that comment ignore them… You are a lady and that does not define the actions you should take.

It takes less than 5 minutes to message someone to check if they’re ok. Text that person you’ve not spoken to in weeks but know is having a rubbish time. Your support could be important to them and if it isn’t, what loss was 5 minutes of your time for texting them…

Work your little butt off but remember to party harder. Whatever you want to do or be in life I will support you but you need to work for it. You get nowhere in life for free, you need to work for it all.

My most memorable moments have come from volunteering. Time is valuable and you don’t want to waste it, but volunteering is never a waste. Always help others where you can. I love working with the children I work with. I have learnt and grew from the children and adults I volunteer with. The skills you learn from volunteering are skills I could not have got from anywhere else.

Don’t do something because everyone else is doing it. It does not make you cool.

What ever happens in your life I will love you and always be there for you!

Love,

Your future loving mum xo

 

Hopefully, I will be back to posting monthly as I have many drafts, but they all need editing so we will see! Hope you enjoyed this post. If you want to know what I am up to when I haven’t posted in a while please check my Instagram Queen.Clo !

All the love,

Queen Clo xo

 

You should be loving someone…

dating, Lifestyle

I am a sucker for love. I love love. I love reading about love, watching films or shows about love and I love falling in love. You can fall in love with anyone and anything!!!  

I love my dogs, so felt they deserved to be shown on my blog haha!


The most important person you should love is yourself, but this can sometimes be the most difficult person to love… When you fall for others, how much do you actually know about them? When I fall for the cute person I walk past, I know very little. When I fall for someone I may have been speaking to probably a little more. However, we may think we know lots about the people around us, but we don’t know what is actually going on in their head and what they truly look like. Just like they don’t truly know all about us either. With yourself it’s different. You know every lump and bump, scar and scratch, and ‘flaw’ that your body has. You know what goes on inside your head, and sometimes you may not like it. These thoughts can lead us to wonder how anyone can love us, and we make ourselves feel hard to love. There are nights that I will sit and think ‘jeez, I am a mess’, and it leads me to doubt how to love myself. Though I remind myself that I may have these imperfections, but that doesn’t make me any less deserving of love. I was always told that it is ‘what is on the inside that counts’, which on some days seems untrue, although luckily for us all it is. Looks will come and fade, it’s how your brain works that will always stay loveable. On days you doubt whether you are worth love, I promise you are. When feeling self-hate focus on your many positive qualities. Leave your harsh criticisms of yourself behind and instead look at your strengths and the amazing traits that make you, you. Side note, even if you don’t love yourself, you are still worthy of the love of others.

You cannot force someone to love you and you should not feel the need to beg someone to love you. Love is either there, or it isn’t. If someone doesn’t love you, it does not mean you should stop loving them. Just like you can’t force them to love you, you can’t force yourself to stop. They still deserve your love, even if they do not feel the same. This world is so full of hate, that I think it’s crucial we all spread a little love from time to time. There are different types of love, and we are all worthy of all of them. I have a different love for my family than I do for my friends, and I’ll have a different love with my friends than I’ll have to my future partner. It’s important to remember there are lots of opportunities to feel love. You don’t need to be in a relationship to feel love. I think this can be a common misconception amongst my generation. It’s like people are desperate to be in relationships, in hopes they will feel love, but they are missing the love that is all around them. If you feel unloved, look around you carefully. People do not have to say I love you, for them to love you. They may say ‘text me when you’re home’, ‘I appreciate what you do for me’, ‘don’t forget your seatbelt’, ‘drive safely’, ‘get some sleep’ and if you listen hard enough there are many more. If you look there’s many around you that love you.

For anyone who knows me, will know that I am a full on person, and this does not stop when I love. Sometimes this is good and sometimes this is bad. I think its important to not hold back when loving. It’s true that love can be hurtful, but I would rather know that I put all of my love into a situation and it not work out. Than regretting not putting all my love in. It can be so scary to love people and to in turn depend on them, but we need love and people to help us grow. Don’t shy away from love for the fear of being hurt, because doing this will make you shy away from finding happiness. You cannot help who you fall in love. Which means in some situations you will face the hell that is unrequited love!! Even if they don’t love you back in the way you wish, they may still love you in other ways! Remember, if someone you love is treating you rubbish you deserve better. Unrequited love will always suck, but you will get over it… I promise. Don’t let the fear of them not loving you back stop you from loving them! 


All the love,

Queen Clo xo

Cry Baby Acceptance, Please?

Lifestyle, Mental Health

Hello friends! March seemed to have flown by and I’m not ready to be a month closer to exams… (Boo!!!)

“We need never be ashamed of our tears.” ~Charles Dickens

Anyone who knows me will know I’m the most tearful person to have ever walked the earth… I don’t even have to be sad to be crying. Anything and everything will make me spill tears. I like to think I’m the biggest crybaby… and yes, I am proud of this…


The above picture is when I heard One Direction’s new album, a year and a half ago, and it is safe to say I was very emotional… I was so happy that I couldn’t contain my tears. I think these tears were for the song ‘If I Could Fly’.

I HATE HATE HATE how people believe crying is a sign of weakness. I have many weaknesses, but my tears are not one of them. We seem to live in a society that is becoming more and more emotionless. We want to fit the mould of being happy and jolly humans, whose lives are perfect. However, this is not the case. We’re not happy all the time. It’s totally normal to be upset and to cry. It’s totally normal to need to cry every day too. We need to allow each other to cry and cleanse. We need to allow men to openly cry more too! Men have been taught for so long that if they cry, they lose their masculinity. Which is so wrong. We need to teach them that it’s okay to cry and it doesn’t make them any less of a man. Instead of laughing or mocking when they cry, we should simply offer support. Crying is not being weak, it’s being human.

Personally, I struggle explaining why I’m upset to people. I find it very difficult to articulate the right words to get across my emotions. Instead, I tend to bottle things up, which isn’t entirely healthy, but that’s just what happens. I know in my heart it is probably better to face the feelings head on, and so I have learnt to find my own way to cope. For me, crying is the way, it allows me to release the emotions I have stored up. The act of crying helps me to confront the issue I’m facing and eventually will help me move forward. It can help calm me down from the situation and make me feel at peace again. It’s like my own therapy.  Sometimes, all I need is a long cry from a situation and then I’m perfectly fine. If you feel the same, that doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Carrying around emotional baggage is not good for your emotional health, so really, if you want to improve your health and you don’t want to talk about it, crying can be the best way. If crying makes you feel better then do it. Cry as much as you need. Cry cry cry!

I believe that crying can be a way to show great strength. It takes a lot for people to be able to cry and show their vulnerability to others. One that Just because I cry at everything, doesn’t mean I’m not strong or fierce! My tears do not determine my strength. I’m a strong queen, who just likes to cry. Deal with it!

So I ask, please don’t make fun of me for being an ’emotional wreck’. Just accept that I am. I’m okay with being one, and if you’re not okay with me being one then I don’t need you. (Bye hater😉)

All the love,

Queen Clo xx

18 Things I’ve Learnt Over The Past 18 Years

Lifestyle

Recently, I reached the age of 18! Scary! During my 18 years on this planet, I’ve learnt so many lessons; below are some of the most important ones. Along with a picture of me over the last 18 years😂

Why don’t you leave something important you’ve learnt in the comments? Or any feedback?☺️

Always been a daddy’s girl x

1. No matter what happens in life, someone in your family will still love you.

I am extremely fortunate to have a large family. There’s so much love around me and I’m so lucky for it. I know that whatever I do, they will all still support and love me. They’ve helped me grow into the person I am and if I do a bad thing I can gurantee they’re not going to hold it against me. This means that whenever there is drama, because we’re a family, we deal with it together. Therefore, if I have a personal problem or drama, I know I can rely on them to help me deal with it. So, whether you have a small family or a large family, they are always going to love and forgive you in the end. Send a text to a family member tonight to show you that you appreciate them!💗

(Big shout out to all my family, I love you all so much, even those of you I don’t see as much as I’d like!)


2. It’s okay to cry. There seems to be this stigma with crying (especially with men, boo!) that it apparently shows weakness. This is not the case. Cry as often as you need. Cry everyday if it makes your day a bit easier. I personally cry very frequently, and if you ask my dad I cry over ridiculous things, like burning cheese on toast, I know, what a loser. However, I believe you should not worry about what others think of your tears, if it helps you to cleanse yourself and your mind then it’s okay. Lets all become cry babies and keep on crying!


3. Its okay to make mistakes… In fact, make as many mistakes as you possibly can. Mistakes are not a bad thing if you learn and grow from them. I frequently mess up, I know I will make many mistakes every single day. This does not make me feel bad or scare me; I know I am learning from them. Instead of letting the fear of being wrong and making mistakes hold you back, embrace every chance of making a mistake.


4. Embrace change, it can be good. Personally, I always struggle with change. I like things to be the same. I get comfortable with a routine. The fear of change used to be a massive thing for me and whenever I knew change was going to occur, I would become nervous and panic. However, I began to understand that life always has change. Therefore, do not go in life being scared of it, but accept it when it happens.Whether this is something small like changing cereal, or whether it be leaving something behind that is hurting you. Whatever the change is, it may hurt or upset you at first, but in the long run it will help you to grow.


5. Tell other people what you are thinking and how you are feeling. People cannot read your mind. If someone has upset you or done you wrong, don’t just assume they know they’ve done wrong. Instead talk to them about it. Someone cannot change what they are doing if they do not know they’ve affected you. I am rubbish at telling people when they’ve upset me, and it can lead people to walk all over me! I need to start standing up for myself and to let others know about how I think and feel. Whether you think it is insignificant, if someone has upset you talk to them!! Not only could it improve the situation between you and said person, it will free your mind. Keeping things bottled up does nothing for you. So, learn to have strong communication skills and be able to talk to anyone about your problems, these skills will get you anywhere you need. 

6. Have a strong opinion of yourself, and leave behind the worries of what others think of you. 

I used to be very  worried about how others saw me. I craved to be liked by everyone, and whenever someone thought something negative of me I would be upset. I realise now, not everybody is going to like me. That does not mean there is anything wrong with me. If someone does not like me, it shouldn’t bother me. I’m not everyone’s fan, so clearly not everyone’s going to be a fan of me. I have begun to developed a strong opinion; this is who I am and I like who I am. So, it doesn’t really matter if no one else likes me.

7. Learn to say no! I’m a yes person, I always have been and I thought I always would be. I get so nervous of the thought of letting people down that I say yes. Lately, I’ve been learning it’s okay to say no. As much as I’d like to do every good deed and help as many people, I simply do not have the time. So instead of trying (and failing) to be wonder women, I learnt to use the word no. It’s much less of a let down to originally say no, than to do a half hearted job. No one is going to hate you for not doing something, and if they do, you don’t need them in your life. Simple?  

8. Move away from anything that causes you negativity.

Whether this be people, an activity or anything, if it makes you sad what is the point in doing it?!?! It truly baffles me when someone says ‘I do … to please … but I hate it’. What is the point in putting yourself through the stress and upset to please someone else. You must focus on your own happiness and not everyone else’s. Furthermore,  leave people that cause you pain in some way. It is far better to leave them in your past than continue to be friends with them and hurt yourself.

9. Frequently ask questions, it’ll help you grow and learn. 

Got a question? Ask it. Its literally that simple. Asking questions develops your knowledge and understanding of the world. By doing so you are not pondering over something that someone could answer for you if you just ask them. Stop accepting what you read online and begin questioning them. Enable yourself to become more involved in the world around you!

10. Be kind. Not only to others, but yourself too. 

I would much rather spread kindness to other people, than hate. I think in a world so filled with hate, it’s time that we start being nicer to those who are around us. Whether its just giving a stranger a smile, or asking someone how their day is? Kindness will help the world stay a positive place.

I looked back and realised that I’m nice to everyone else, but why am I not to myself? Ask yourself the question, if someone spoke to me the way I speak to myself would I still be friends with them? If the answers no, then its time you start speaking kinder to yourself. At the end of the day, you’re the person that’s there for yourself and if you’re not being kind to yourself then why will anyone else be?

11. Laugh often.Laughter is my favourite thing. I have the loudest laugh ever, and it can be irritating to others. (sorry not sorry). However, my laughter brings me joy. Laughing (even over tiny things) will brighten my whole mood. I aim to laugh as many times a day. After all, laughter is the best medicine.

12. Apologise when you’re in the wrong.

I have dealt with a lot of people who struggle with apologising. I  have also met a lot of people who apologise too much!! The trick is to get the right balance. I think it is important to apologise. If I have done something wrong, then I feel obliged to apologise. If it was the other way round then I would probably like the other person to apologise. Its important to swallow any pride you have and apologise when it is appropriate.

13. Some days you’ll find it slightly harder to love yourself, but look past your ‘flaws’, and find something to love.

The title says it all in this one. We’re all great in our own ways, look a little harder if you cannot find something to love. I PROMISE THERE WILL BE SOMETHING!!!!


14. Stand up for yourself and what you believe in.

I am feisty when I want to be. If I believe in something strongly, I’ll argue with anyone and everyone about it. Even if I’m the only one that believes my view. I’m not intimidated when others have a different view to myself. I think of it as a mini challenge to show others why I think that way.

It’s important to be you, and if you believe in your view that’s all that matters. Stand strong.
It’s also important to stand up for yourself. You can’t go your whole life being walked over like a door mat. Be confident and proud of who you are. Don’t let anyone knock you down.

 


15. Don’t take life or your self too serious. 

Its easy to get caught up in your own problems, and we forget that the problems we face are only made large when we let them mess with us. Instead of being caught up in how rubbish things are, we should all take a step back. When taking a step back it puts into perceptive that we should not take life too seriously. When taking life too seriously you limit the happiness you can get. So breathe, you are doing great, but stop taking everything too seriously.

Nobody gets out alive anyway…


16. FLIRT ! FLIRT! FLIRT!

I am a young, single, sassy women and I shall flirt and do as I please.

While I am young, I want to live my life. There is nothing wrong with flirting.


17. People will break your heart, but learn from the mistakes!

After a heartbreak it can be hard to pick yourself back up again. But the key thing to remember is onces someone’s broke your heart let them go. Or you will continue to hurt yourself the longer you cling to the past. Stop texting them, or trying to be in their life. Delete the texts. Delete the pictures. Delete them off social media. You do not need a constant reminder of them, leave them to do them and you to do you. If they’ve hurt you, they no longer deserve a place in your life. If they wanted to be in your life they would be, so don’t be fooled.

Oh boys, what strange creatures you are… Will I ever understand your brains? (probs not but I will live haha).


18. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re doing better than you think!

 In life, we focus on our own flaws and where we think we’ve not done well. We forgot to focus on all the great things we do every single day. All the amazing things we do without thinking. I’ve learnt that I need to be easier on myself and not beat myself up over silly little errors. I’m doing so well juggling a job, voluntary work and sixth form. I should just keep being me.

BONUS ONE: Get drunk and be the party animal you’ve always dreamed to be.

Don’t let anyone stop you from getting a little drunk!😉 If you need that glass of wine this evening, this is me saying go and have it! Also, partying with the right people at the right place can be so much fun and you can make memories (some you may not remember). Live your life and don’t let others judge you for partying. Keep being awesome!x


 

Thank you for reading my second upload!

All the love,

Queen Clo xx